Red, White and Black
by codename Poltergeiist
Summary: Riley Shepard runs into problems recruiting for an important class project at the Citadel Space Academy when new Turian student, Garrus Vakarian, refuses to participate. In a series of attempts to win him over, hilarity ensues! Garrus x Shepard, college type AU.
1. You're Going to Regret This

To start, I do not own Mass Effect, and probably would not like the responsibility of owning it anyways. I am just a lowly fan, because _fuck yeah space!_

This story idea came about out of reading fanfic that left my heart burning with sorrow, made me want to type up something funny and lighthearted. I haven't seen much school oriented AU's around that kept a lot of the characters species or details intact, so I jumped on this plan while watching Men in Black on Netflix last night.  
There might some OOC shit going on, mostly because I've dropped their ages quite a bit to fit into the funny space academy theme, they don't have the hard life experience they do in the games so everything is lighthearted and fluffy. Ages you may ask? Everyone is enlisting age! Eighteen, to make my life and yours easier. Also I am lazy and do not like extensively figuring things out, don't make me do it. Pairings are Shep/Garrus mostly, maybe mentions of others. I don't know yet, playing this by uncontainable impulse at the moment.  
The Citadel Space Academy is hosted on; you guessed it, the Citadel. That is where this whole shebang is taking place. I have widely expanded it for the story however, we have roads and neighborhoods and you know what it's not the Citadel it is motherfucking planet Earth and I'm calling the campus the Citadel and I want you to deal with it as best as you can.  
Reviews are not really a pressured requirement here, literally I don't care. You could leave a review calling me a total frickdick that shits on unicorns all day long and I'd be like, "yo." so don't even worry about leaving a word if you don't want to. If you're one of those people that participates in 'cookie reviews', just dropping a note with the word cookie, don't say cookie. Say _poptart_ or _apple pie _or _glass of lemonade_ or _mole sauce_. I don't care for cookies, seriously if you say cookie after this I am going to be so pissed off. I do not answer reviews, I mostly read them while nodding casually but I will do this thing where every chapter I will pick one or two of my favorite reviews and highlight them- so attempt creativity and amuse me. This is rated T for a reason, mostly language and possible violence, references to drug use (marijuana), and mild suggestive themes. I do not write smut, so you won't find that here you horny nerds. Keep searching.

If you're cool with all of that then enjoy the story, small mortal readers!  
Poltergeiist, outro. 

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**CHAPTER 1: You're Going to Regret This**

Garrus' mandibles twitched at his class schedule, glowing an obnoxious shade of fluorescent orange on the transparent holographic screen projected in front of him. Orange was the worst color, it was teasing and taunting. A flashy _ha ha ha_ attracting the attention of the other students passing him in the open courtyard, an Asari and a Human snickered at him as they passed. A note of sympathy evident in the humored action, they were once new to the academy too. Garrus ignored them, squinting at the screen again, pretending to study it but honestly just wondering if he should have spent today finding, and hiding, in his dorm room. Classes didn't start for the Turian until tomorrow, first thing Monday morning. This schedule business was unnecessary bullshit.

His talons reached up to wipe the collecting dust off his blue visor, turning away from the schedule screen Garrus looked around the area trying to remember where he was in this godforsaken place. Getting turned around was all too easy in the brilliant white Citadel, every corner looked exactly the same as the last. A sign before a bridge, labeled with numerous Alien languages and almost sheltered completely by a potted tree, pointed to the male's dorm rooms. He began walking in that direction. Hesitation had never been so strong in him before, as he thought about who he would end up having to share a room with. Another Turian wouldn't be so bad, but if he had to share the space with a Hanar he was definitely going home because nothing is worth that much mental stress. Not even education, not even a future in C-Sec. _Fuck the police._

Enlisting with the Citadel Space Academy had been straightforward enough, Garrus had decided in a moment of flimsy panic at seventeen that he definitely needed to join when he was eighteen. Or risk staying home, planet stranded, for the rest of his life. No way was that an option, he liked weapons and modifying weapons. He liked the art of fine tuning and calibrating targeting systems on advanced gun ships, a side effect of growing up in a militant Turian family. Because he also really enjoyed, with ever fiber of his being, shooting things with sniper rifles. And he was damn good at it.

Garrus' feet found himself in front of a door, killing his thoughts the green panel on it pulsated for him to access. He blinked, mandibles tight against his face as the number displayed in his visor confirmed the one printed in a dark gray on the white door. Five eighty five. A clear mechanical and feminine voice startled him, "Generally, new students are encouraged to avoid lingering in the hallways on Sundays from 2pm to 5pm."

He quirked an eye plate, "An AI system?"

"You may call me EDI." The door to five eighty five parted into two panels and slid away, stealing his invisibility barrier of social avoidance. All the warnings about dangerous AI's returned to him, stories of Geth included and he couldn't help but feel betrayed by this one.

Entering the room, Garrus laid his duffel bag on the bed to the right of the place, as it was bare and untouched. Unclaimed. The other side was a mess, albeit a tidy mess, of what looked to be medical equipment and books and screens and pinned notes. He couldn't make out any of it, written with an alphabet he didn't know and what looked to be fast shorthand. His mandibles fluttered as he leaned in to take a closer look, just as a Salarian exited the bathroom, seemly unsurprised by the other's presence. Garrus stepped back and cleared his throat, "Garrus Vakarian, I'm your room mate for this semester." Subharmonics sounding more friendly than he meant them to be, whatever, this guy was smart and he respected smart people. He could be friendly.

The Salarian's large eyes blinked rapidly a couple times, taking the Turian in before speaking fluidly and fast, "Yes. Read your file. I am aware. A new Turian student. Never left home planet before. Earth new experience. Weapons focus. Technology modifications. Very skilled. Very impressive. Most importantly, not Krogan." He began moving piles of paper off the section of counter that split down the room's center, "Mordin Solus, pleasure to be of your acquaintance."

"Pleasures all mine, so, you read my file? As in, private student file?" Garrus helped the medical student straighten up the surface, handing him papers and folders he couldn't reach.

Mordin shrugged, taking a note pad from him, sneering at it's contents and tossing it into the trash bin across the room, "Logical action. No harmful intent. Only, knowledge. Easy file to access, academy security, lacking."

The EDI cubby by the door folded down, the blue globed hologram appearing, "Citadel Space Academy systems and information files are restricted to all unqualified personnel, including students. Mordin Solus- first strike recorded this month, strike scores can be viewed in the student lounge on the fourth floor." the hologram flickered out of existence.

Mordin sniffed uncaringly, Garrus stared at the cubby with his mandibles flaring in alarm, "She _watches _us?! What's a strike score?"

"Yes. EDI system monitors entire school. More benefits. More efficient. Strike score penalty system, to enforce academy rules. Three strikes on score per month, any more and sent to council for consequence." He turned back to face Garrus, eyeing him with interest again, "Dinner in cafeteria. I would not mind company. Getting to know each other would be ideal, considering new standing."

Removing his black gloved hand from a navy blue CSA jacket pocket, Garrus ran three fingers over his fringe, stomach complaining at the mention of food, "Sure, guess I can't avoid social interaction for a whole four years now can I?" A voice in his head insisted that he could try.

Mordin's lips upturned slightly at the hopeful tone in the question, "Come with me." he led the way through their doors, turning left and walking quickly past the other dorm rooms, "Elevator at end of hall, cafeteria one floor below current fifth floor. Floor six above is female's quarters. Males not allowed, females not allowed here either. Academy rule, strikes given for meddling. Pick up books and tablet in store on first floor. Non-combat classes held on third floor, combat classes held on second floor." The Salarian rattled on, making it hard to distinguish one sentence from another, luckily Garrus found that he was able to understand enough to glean the more important information.

"Noted." The pair entered the elevator, Mordin tapping the floor number before resuming his briefing.

"Field grounds directly in front of campus upon entry, includes all of native green vegetation visible before street. Library six blocks west. Extranet connection available free of cost to all students." The elevator stopped; it's gray ridged door rising slowly, "Ask if have any questions. I am happy to help."

"Thanks, Moridn." Garrus replied with genuine gratitude as they entered the cafeteria, taking a spot at a table against the furthest wall. He would have hated to stop and ask another student for directions anywhere, lest he emblazon the words 'new kid' on his jacket's chest. The fastest way to ensure his only ally would be EDI, somehow, that didn't comfort him. She sounded very passive aggressive. Computers shouldn't sound so scathing, it was annoying and felt far too alive for his tastes. The med student inclined his head slightly, a silent 'no problem' before pressing a key on the table screen. A strange colored, almost yellow, soup in a paper cup presented itself at the front of the vending machine like device on the side of the table.  
Garrus eyed the keys, annoyed that he didn't recognize many options and settled for something safe- a Human food known as a sandwich. Which was a ridiculous name, as they never contained sand, thankfully. He took it from the vending machine and wasted no time in biting into it, the meat and bread hitting the bottom of his gut comfortably.

It didn't take long for the cafeteria to come alive with the night crowd, ordering food from their tables and chatting about a wide variety of subjects. Many species were present and readily intermingling, Garrus noticed that those with the comfortable atmosphere were seniors. They had already been here for quite awhile. The freshmen were much more hesitant, keeping to their own.

His observations were interrupted by Mordin being grabbed on the shoulder by a pale skinned human hand attached to a black clothed arm, a red and white stripe running up the length to the shoulder and disappearing behind a curtain of medium length fiery red hair. N7 was printed loudly on the right breast of the hoodie. The female Human had bright green eyes, flashing with mirth and sharp with intelligence, she was smiling and listening to whatever Mordin was telling her, but when her orbs fell on Garrus for a split second the Turian blanched. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, and he wanted to have her babies.

"Hey, you alive in there?" Her voice struck his ears, it was strong but feminine, commanding attention and respect even though it fell from very soft looking light red lips, "I asked your name."

"Garrus Vakarian." He managed to say, sounding almost normal, except the slight waver in his subvocals. She didn't seem to notice, nor did her Quarian friend _he failed_ to notice was standing beside her. He felt like the empty purple face shield was judging him and he shifted slightly in his seat to shake it.

"I'm Shepard, Riley Shepard, but everyone calls me by my last name around here. This is my friend Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. Welcome to the Citadel Space Academy!" Shepard announced, a spark seemed to be ignited there, something sinister. He could tell.

"Pleasure to meet you." Tali said, her filter blinking with each word, he could almost make out a profile underneath the helm but gave up on trying and instead parted his mandibles at her in an accepting smile. Garrus hoped they knew enough about Turian expressions to recognize it. Shepard returned the grin, in a very human way, and it immediately put him at ease. Until she shoved him over so she could slide into the seat next to him.

Mordin had already made room for Tali on his side and gestured across to Shepard with a hand, while Garrus felt utterly trapped, "Class requirement you were saying. Need group to complete, inquiring?"

Garrus watched the redhead lean over the table, somehow a signal for them all to follow suit. They did, and he didn't know exactly why, but he did too.

Her voice dropped to a low tone, "Here's the deal, tomorrow we're going to be given the assignment all freshmen are given first day to carry out for this whole four year educational mess." Her stare could have burned holes into the Salarian's face with it's intensity, "Build up a team, and elect a Commander. To work on our social skills and standings and blah blah blah...Tali's already in," the Quarian nodded and presented a thumbs up, "but I'm asking you too Mordin. You know I wouldn't if it wasn't important, I only take _the best_." She smirked, raised eyebrows pointedly waiting on an answer.

Everyone leaned back in their chairs, looking at Mordin expectantly. Garrus resisted the urge to snort. Solus was smarter than all of the computers running this place, he wouldn't join up with some Human girl and follow orders for one semester let alone four years just because she named herself Commander,  
"Of course, Shepard." His easy decision punctured Garrus like a pin does a balloon.

Tali and Riley jumped up and highfived triumphantly, "Two down, and _who knows_ how many more to go!" the Quarian spoke with a smug tone, hands on her hips confidently as the two girls stood away from the table now, needing room to fist pump. Apparently.

"What about you, Turian? What's your major?" Shepard asked suddenly, knocking him out of his shocked stupor. Now her stare was burning _him_, he squashed the pressure and stared back defiantly.

"Weapons, mostly, but I'm not joining your _team._" He lingered on the word, letting his animosity leak into his subharmonics. She may be pretty, but that idea had to die because there was no way he was going to jump on board with an _Alliance _group project.

Riley glowered at his response, Mordin and Tali exchanged a glance before the Salarian spoke quietly but as quick as always,

"Day one, score zero."


	2. Man Up and Fight Like a Girl

I need to work on writing action scenes more often, don't even look at me. Second chapter up fast because this morning sucked and I was bored. Thanks to the first reviewer too! You cheekily lil' poop.

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**CHAPTER 2: Man Up and Fight Like a Girl**

Riley Shepard was determined to get Garrus Vakarian on her team, he was just a hardheaded stubborn Turian and she would simply have to crack his skull first. In theory. Students at CSA could opt out of the team project, but she could not understand why in any galaxy anyone would turn down the only fun they were going to get in the next four years? Why was he so opposed to joining up with her? Mordin was on board, and he roomed with Garrus. Shepard had thought after that victory the Turian would have been easy to convince, but alas, it was not so.

It didn't take much to get the fast talking Salarian to give her the digital student file he had on Garrus either, one mention and he had it uploaded to her Omni-tool. She spent that night hiding the glow of the screen from Tali while she read it over under her blankets, impressed with what she found. When he said his major was weaponry, she wasn't exactly expecting a long list of god skills and stats to scream confirmation with all the enthusiasm of a drill sergeant. The guy was an A-Lister, in the academy by way of reputation. And she only took the best.

Tapping an uneasy rhythm on the tilted white desk with a stylus, she watched the subject of her frustration pay rapt attention to the automated hologram that was debriefing them on training ring rules. He was more than five rows in front of her, on a lower level of desks. The place was laid out like a movie theater, or a court room, the idea made her impatient. Riley knew she should be paying attention too, but honestly, kicking ass wasn't rocket science. Garrus seemed to feel her stare, as he was obviously straining trying _not _to turn around and glare at her. His mandibles were pressed tightly against his face, and one of his knees bounced steadily.  
The hologram fizzled out of existence and the class immediately leapt from their seats, some students leaving to go to different classes and others staying behind to test out the training ring. Garrus stole a glance her way, in an attempt to see which she would choose. Probably so he could avoid her. Riley didn't move, catching his gaze and shrugging innocently. His mandibles flared and he ducked into the observation room to wait for his turn in the ring. She practically launched out of her chair to follow him, the legs screeching painfully on the smooth floor before she was jogging down the stairs. The Human teacher at the front called something after her, most likely a reprimand, but she didn't hear what he said as she caught up with her target.

"Are you serious?" Garrus growled lowly, his subharmonics resonating with deep vibrations. Oh, so he was only a little peeved.

Her gut dropped and for a minute she entertained the idea of being scared, that would have been smart. Instead she took a chance, elbowing him in the ribs with a frown, "I get it, you don't want to join. But you don't have to be so rude about it." She shamelessly let a little bit of hurt trickle into her words.

His head inclined towards her, barely, his visor streaming through video clips of previous ring sessions, "You've been stalking me for two weeks- I'm not falling for the pacifist act _now_, Shepard." He couldn't keep his mandibles from twitching in amusement.

"Strategist bastard.", she huffed quietly.

"You like it."

She did, she thought with exasperation, that's why she wanted him on her team. The stubborn asshole. She watched an Asari and a Krogan practice cover maneuvers through the large bay window, laser guns in hand. One held a pistol with the other firing a sniper rifle at the simulated enemies, badly. "Failing score." EDI flashed a red light into the ring, dismissing the pair, "Next set of students may proceed."

"Looks like a _team_ exercise."  
Garrus looked pointedly at the selector menu by the door, "Looks like an _option._"

"What is your problem, Vakarian?!", Riley snarked at him in anger, "I'm asking if you'll help me pass this test, not pledge your damn allegiance. Aren't you supposed to be good with a gun, or were those just rumors?"

Hook, line, and sinker. She had him, she knew it as soon as she spoke. His mandibles flared at her challenge and accusation, he strode over to the weapons case and tossed her the laser pistol unceremoniously, "I get the rifle."

The Turian didn't realize that the other students in the observation room were watching them bicker until he headed for the door, feeling embarrassed at how easily he'd been manipulated. He wasn't about to let anyone doubt this though; _he knew how to shoot._ Better than anyone here, he was certain.

Shepard was out the door directly after him and they fell into position without even thinking about it, he was watching her six from a good distance, eye behind the scope. She was in front, on the ground and leaning against a crate, pistol loaded with a light clip and ready. He gave her a tight nod, she returned it and EDI started the buzzer.

Simulations appeared in different positions and in varying numbers firing light bolts at, what felt like, a slow pace. Shepard had the first wave down with little to no pressure, Garrus already popping off the firsts to lead the second. Head shots, every one of them. She took them from the chest, so as not to be shown up. The speed of the sims sped up considerably when it became apparent that the two were having an easy time of it, they came in with more realistic and complex maneuvers than before. Ducking behind cover and even using heavier fire, EDI upped the level again, "Stage Four." The program announced.

Riley sprang from her cover, and jumped over the crate, running and taking refuge behind the next one. Reloading an overheated clip she watched Garrus advance closer as well, leaning against the upright panels, checking once, bringing his sights up, popping a round and advancing again while his talons skillfully inserted another clip. She fired a few more shots, bringing down another simulated enemy and taking cover again just in time to have Garrus slamming into the empty space next to her, rising to fire a round, and dropping back down. He was grinning, chest rising and falling with excited breaths, "He's not getting back up again."

She couldn't hold back a genuine smirk, "Just keep watching my six, Vakarian."

Leaping over the cargo crate she ran to the nearest upright panel diagonal from Garrus' position, her shoulders slamming against the siding. Garrus took down the sim nearest to her, calling out a childish, "Bet you didn't see _that one!_" over the sound of the gun fire. She didn't have the time to answer, hoping he could see her roll her eyes instead. Emerging from her place, she fixed her sights on a hostile no more than twenty feet away, but it dissipated before she could get the point.

EDI came over the speakers, "Passing score. Next set of students may proceed.", a green beacon blinked over the far door that they were trying to reach in the exercise.

Riley and Garrus exited through the observation room, placing the practice firearms back in the weapons case before moving to study the screen that kept track of everyone's ring sessions. They refused to look directly at each other, both were agitated with the lack of guard they had shown towards the other during the test. Riley was picking at her N7 hoodie, like it was covered in lint as opposed to the reality where it was completely spotless. Garrus couldn't help but widen his eyes a bit at their score, his mandibles tight against his face again. Great. Now she was never going to leave him alone, but she wasn't looking so he had to say something, "Shepard." He said, "We got a ninety three on a stage four."

"Stage four, that's low level stuff. Not much of an accomplishment."

"Let me rephrase- ninety three out of a possible one hundred and ten on a stage four, on _day one_ of combat ring training." He paused to let the information sink in, "Average is sixty three through seventy seven on stage one."

Her orbs were on him at once, dancing with mischief that killed all his hopes at seeing an end to her mission of Turian team conversion, "We kicked ass."

He tried not to stare at the choppy red hair brushing against her face and falling into those green eyes as she crossed her arms smugly at him, his mandibles flickered when he failed, "You mean _I _kicked ass, I had no idea what you were doing."

Mouth parted in protest, she scoffed. "That's called evading, firing _and_ advancing. You know, so you don't lose your head to some cocky sniper." A smile there, he didn't miss it.

"Are you going to say it, or do I have to?"

"Say what?"

He brought up a gloved talon, pretended to fire it like a gun and blow the 'smoke' off it's barrel, "I am a _damn_ good shot." 

* * *

Tali and Mordin were sprawled out on the loud orange sofa in the student lounge, although, the use of the word 'sprawled' could be seen as being quite dramatic. Mordin was sitting normally, leaning forward with interest, both hands clasped to support his chin. Elbows on his knees. Tali was laying down opposite of him, her back propped up against the arm rest and her own knees supporting a forgotten tablet as she twisted her torso to get a better view. Both were oogling Garrus, who was sitting in the matching chair to their eight telling them all about his and Riley's combat training earlier that day.

Surprisingly, he didn't exaggerate even once. Not that the thought would cross the Turian's mind, why exaggerate when you really were just that good? Riley suppressed a snort from her seat in the rather absurdly large beanbag chair on the floor, her Omni-tool was open on her arm as she scrolled through what Garrus assumed to be that day's study logs.

Tali's accent sealed the end of the story, "With scores like those, you both have to be one of the best freshmen squads enrolled in combat classes." The Quarian titled her head, purple face shield catching the light and showing a dull picture of a face for only a moment, "Or _the best_."

Mordin nodded thoughtfully, "A good team. Very beneficial to have varied squad on ground. Cover more bases. Efficient."

Riley reached over and poked Garrus' leg with her foot, "We made a good teeeeaaaam, admit it. We diiiiid."

He blew air out his nose at her, sounding like a sharp huff of breath, "Alright! We made a good team, but still I'm not joining yours. Give it up."

"_Why_ are you so against it?"

"I came here to get into C-Sec, not the Alliance, Shepard." Garrus' inclined his head toward her, "Your project doesn't do much for me, sounds like a pretty big waste of time."

Tali stood up from the sofa, stretching and sighing casually, "And he hasn't even seen the Normandy yet."

"...The _Normandy_? What is that your guys' fort?" His mandibles twitching to contain a grin, Mordin gave him a look that might have held some humor at the dig. Always count on the roommate to see your side, the Turian thought.

Riley didn't look up from the Omni-tool, but she poked him again with her outstretched foot, "No, you dick. It's Joker's car." Her tone sounded bored, busy with whatever she was reading. His eye's narrowed suspiciously at the orange glow. There was far too much orange around this place.

"What is that?"

She did look at him now, raising a brow condescendingly, "An Omni-tool." She said slowly, like he was just learning to say the word.

Mandibles flared for a second, "What are you _reading _on it?"

Snickers from Tali and Mordin made his jaw drop in exasperation, Riley's lips upturned slightly from her view of him behind the tool's transparent interface, "Does _everyone_ on campus have access to my private file now? Solus, if I knew you were going to hand it out like medi-gel in a war zone..."

The Salarian picked up a napkin from the coffee table in front of them and waved it, "Calling pacifist on this one. Shepard asked for file, interested. It is interesting. Saw no fault in sharing. Just us three read it." He gestured to Tali, and Garrus threw his head back onto the chair, bending his fringe at an odd angle, "Ow."

"Well it is interesting, _you're_ interesting!", Riley defended, "Not like we'd see something top secret in here. Unless they have photos of you as a baby." She bit her lip at that, then began tapping and scrolling around frantically, and Garrus knew that was probably exactly what she was looking for now.

He made a pained sound before pulling his glower from Shepard, back to Tali, "You guys have a car? A Human vehicle?"

"Joker and Shepard grew up together, and when they both enrolled at the academy they bought a car together to share. Joker is only in pilot classes, so he's here less, which is why you haven't met him. Yet, I mean." She explained, hands gesturing before moving back to her sides. "Mordin hasn't met Joker or seen the Normandy yet eith-"

"Beginning to think, it is an invisible car." He cut in with fast words.

"Oh stop complaining, you'll see her soon enough, I didn't name her for the super secret legendary effect." Riley laughed turning off the Omni-tool, laying further back into the beanbag chair, "Joker's been working on her, you see we've been having some...handling issues.", the laugh quickly turned into an annoyed grimace.

Garrus' mandibles fluttered, "Sounds like a calibration problem."


	3. Yes, I Can See You Joining the MIB

you reviewers are shits and I love you guys, look under your swivel chairs- free comic con tickets for everyone! Start calling me...Poltoprah. The ghost of talk shows past. I'm building a paranormal research school in some third world country so, stay tuned for details on that charity event. 2spooky.

In story news, the way I'm going to do this now, is more frequent updates with a much smaller word count. Falling into more how I planned this to pan out, with funny shots and new character introductions. More people will make appearances soon. I actually don't like this chapter, it's very short and feels rushed to me. But I'm going to give it to you guys anyways, because I'm lazy and am finding it hard to conjure a care.

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**CHAPTER 3: Yes, I Could See You Joining the MIB**

Garrus watched Riley hug the dark haired man, carefully, like he was made of glass. Her smile was wide and genuine, green eyes bright and open fully with eyebrows arching high. The Turian wasn't an expert on Human body language, far from it, but it didn't take much knowledge on the subject to see that these two were close. He took the small amount of jealousy he was feeling and shoved it away. Riley pulled the man's hat down over his eyes with a laugh. He ruffled her fiery hair. Garrus coughed, drawing their attention before nodding to the large gray machine behind them. Mordin was already investigating, nodding approvingly as he touched it's surface in different places.

"Right! Joker, Garrus. Garrus, Joker. Annnd Mordin." She said sheepishly, scratching her head. The two males shook hands tentatively, eyeing each other with curiosity.

Mordin waved Joker's hand away when he went to greet him under the harsh bright lights of the basement garage, instead questioning him, "Very nice updated technology equipped, it would appear. What are your resources, very expensive...", the Salarian trailed off.

Joker laughed, "Yeah, well not expensive or updated enough it seems. Handling is whack! Go to turn and you better make sure it's wide or you won't make the corner. Disappointing really, the maneuverability should be way better than _that._ I got in this school on a pilot scholarship, before Shepard got in, the funding for my baby comes directly from the Alliance board. Don't tell anyone I said this buuut, I'm pretty sure they play favorites." He shrugged, and Mordin gave a wry smile.

Garrus had already opened the hatched hood to the main battery core of the car. His mandibles clicked with interest. A fusion of Turian and Human technology, this was his sort of thing. "I think I can fix your problem." He said confidently, gesturing Joker over. The Human leaned over to look, Garrus standing by and explaining, "I was right about it being an issue with the calibration, your tech is fine. Just needs fine tuning. Could take a few days to test it and get it right though."

"Are you kidding? If you can get her moving, I mean _really moving_, I'll let you play with the Normandy for as long as you want." The pilot scoffed, "Hell, you can start right now if you like."

Garrus' subharmonics sounded almost too excited when he spoke, "I can do that." His mandibles moving up and down slowly, with cautious apprehension. He had nothing better to do, and man, he loved modding things. Calibrating things. He hadn't worked on a real ship of any kind since leaving for the Academy.

Joker blinked, "Oh. You're serious, well I mean, yeah if you want to man. Here's the extra set of keys," He tossed them flippantly, Garrus catching them on a talon, "Pop in anytime after this too. I'm going to steal Mordin and head up to the technology lab, he has some stuff in the medic department to show me. No rush, take as loooong as you want."

"Bye guys!" Riley chirped, hugging Joker again and waving to Mordin as they left through the cargo elevator.

Garrus' blue orbs focused on her, "You're not going." he said flatly, a statement. A very tired observation of an unfortunate situation.

"Of course not, I have nowhere to be anytime soon." She said playfully, sitting on the metal grate flooring of the garage, leaning against the railing separating her from the Normany's dock, "Besides, I wouldn't want to miss The Great Garrus' talent show." Her voice faded into a purr and his stomach reeled.

"Don't say my name like that." He growled irritated, his mandibles flaring as he turned back to the battery core, toying with it.

She rolled her eyes, mistaking his qualm being with not understanding Human humor, "You really need to brush up on your other species behavior studies." Her fingers thrummed on the floor in a soft tempo, Garrus found himself liking the relaxing sound, his subvocals echoing it without his consent. She didn't seem to notice, or at least, she didn't say anything. He choked it down.

"I just had the best idea, stop what you're doing." She stood up and began fussing over her Omni-tool, pulling up a screen and expanding it. He snorted at her, "Not now Shepard, I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

"Yeah yeah yeah, _calibrations_. Whatever. They can wait." Riley grabbed his arm, pulling him towards her, he stumbled and glared at her in annoyance. "_Please?_" She said with emphasis, looking up at him hopefully.

The Turian tore his own view from hers and sighed heavily, "This better be worth it."

"Men in Black is always worth it." She sprang into action, tapping at the control panel by the dock to dim the brilliant light until the area was mostly shadows and it was hard to see. She could easily locate Garrus by his eyepiece, and she made her way back to his standing place in front of the battery's controls uploading the movie from her Omni-tool onto the larger screen.

Moving back she then threw down the Normandy's fabric dust cover onto the metal flooring, folding it over a few times to soften the seat. Garrus watched her with narrowed eyes. She plopped down and leaned back, raising her eyebrows at him expectantly until he rubbed at the back of his neck, gave up, and sat beside her on the newly made 'couch'.

"What exactly, is _Men in Black?_" he asked, tilting his head to the side towards her.

"An old movie, super old movie. Ancient Human movie. Long before we even knew about Aliens with cocky complexes and calibrating obsessions..."

He hummed, feinting clueless interest, "Sounds very, primitive."

"You can't say that until you've seen what J is wearing.", She whispered back as the movie opened, the screen light illuminating their faces.

Garrus' mandibles fluttered at the challenge, his tone questioning, "Magnetized boots?"

"Older, and worse."

"Disco pants."

"Close. Very close, Vakarian."

He fell silent then, watching the story play out, and shaking with suppressed laughter when the actor came on screen wearing the fluorescent orange jumpsuit. Riley smirked at him, "Your _favorite_ color."

"I meant to tell you, I'm starting a petition to change all the screen colors to blue. Including Omni-tools. If I add in the lounge furniture, will you sign?" He shot back, grinning.

"Are you insane? Not for a million credits, I'd miss that disgusted look on your face we're all graced with when you walk in the place looking so utterly _lost._"

* * *

Garrus smiled as the end credits rolled by, "That was quite offensive." he said, not without humor.

"Give us a break. Humans only knew how to shoot things back then."

"And dress with style."

"You would know all about that, wouldn't you?"

The Turian looked pointedly at her, "I would. Did you just compliment my appearance, Shepard?"

He liked how Riley squirmed in her seat, uncomfortable. Her face turned a little pink, something he always thought was an interesting reaction to get from a Human, "Can't take it back now, you are indeed, the _prettiest_ Turian on the Citadel."

He hummed lowly again beside her, "I'll have to fix that. I wouldn't want to make the girls too crazy. Maybe I should get a gruesome scar?"

"Nah, that would make it worse. Women love scars."

The lights in the garage suddenly flew on, causing them both to jump in surprise. Garrus didn't realize how close they'd been sitting together until then, although they certainly did not _start_ the movie that close. Joker was leaning against the doorframe of the room, next to the light controls. Smirking with his arms crossed, "You two are adorable. I wish I had a neuralyzer to wipe away the mushy memory, but Shep, we have an aeronautics lecture to be at in _ten minutes._"

"_What?!_ We were no-" She started to protest, turning to look at Garrus, who was already standing up making his way back to the battery. He was looking at her mortified, and very red face, with a smirk and dancing blue eyes. Mandibles twitching. The cocky asshole thought it was _funny!_ "Argh, whatever." Riley pulled herself up from the folded cover and rolled her orbs at the Turian, "See you later then?"

"Goes without saying." He said fondly, feeling very content as he watched her flash a smile and follow Joker out of the garage.


End file.
